Epic Fail
by darklyness13
Summary: Tayuya, a full respected bully in her place is asked to live in a mansion where her damn "fairy godmother" invited her.. but that's not all... even with the best service... she believes she's living in HELL! After her 'fairy godmother' leaves out town... she is forced to suffer living with those guys she recently dumped out.. will their secret mission #1: code: LADY ... succeed?
1. Chapter 1

"Now move your fat ass away from here, shithead!" I just finished kicking some ass in my backyard. It was one of those boys who usually play pranks by my yard. He quickly runs away with a face that would surely drive his mom insane. _Hehehehe…_

Yeah right, everything goes like this. Especially when some idiot would just kick in by my property. What is that property? Oh, of course, my pathetic hellhole, in other words yeah…my house. But back when I was a kid, I usually rule the playground. I'm the boss, as what they call me. Any boy or girl who would just trespass by _my own property_ they usually ended up dumped out… and in most cases in the bin. Seriously. You say I would often get calls from our damn principal? Yeah, pretty much but like hell I don't even give a damn care about that… Its just like a part of my daily routine… That's why everyone gets scared of me whenever I walked in… "It's Tayuya, the bully!..." I love the way they say that and how they shudder when I look down at them. I got fond of that life…That's how I easily earn power and their respect.. Yeah… but now it seems pretty damn hard when everyday you are answering a fucking call which goes on and on everyday…

"Good morning, sweetie…" Ugh. Came my auntie's 'usual sweet.. but disgusting…call…

"Yeah, right. What do you want after you just destroyed my whole damn day…" I muttered sarcastically.

"Tayuya…" She started her sweety sticky voice with _my name…. I really hated the way she sounded with my name… _"please… think about it…why don't you just accept my invitation of staying in my mansion for junior high?... it'll just be a few blocks from your new school…"

"Great…that goes for the 46th time you'd ask me that….and as what I have said for the damn 46th time around!... I DON'T GIVE A DAMN CARE!"

"Tayuya…please.. schools coming fast...and this is the best way for you to keep access to school plus, I don't think that house your parents left is in a much good shape…" She begged.

"You mean this hellhole?...Its much better for me than seeing your damn mansion like I would look like a fucking princess sitting over those overflowing damn wealth! I hated it since I first went there!"

"But Tayuya, you know I promised your parents that I would take GOOD care of you…"

I rolled my eyes. Yeah, like she would have any choice…

"No…just leave me alone, now okay? I'm in a goddamn happy situation in here…and…"

"Like sitting for 24 hours in front of your tv while you dig in some food…. Every summer?"

"Hey, its not the whole 24 hours, sometimes I got cut off when I really need to kick some ass in my yard!"

"That's why you need to move out now…. So you would not be disturbed with those guys who annoy your life!" She exclaimed.

Yeah, she has a point. I'm already sick of their pranks, except for the 'kicking ass' part….

"And plus you'll get anything you want in the mansion… like being alone with your loads of curls…punching bags… unlimited movie watching… plus you don't need to clean up the plates… or doing some chores you hated…"

"I hate all chores!" I protested.

"Yes, yes… and by Monday your house would be taken by the government due to the loads of taxes your parents have… that's the big WHY you should be moving now…."

Heh. Like I believe…

"We'll pick you up tomorrow 8 sharp, dear…I need to go to the salon now. Bye!"

"Yeah, right….Like I care…" I hung up the phone.

I quickly sat on my dusty old couch and crossed my arms. I never wanted to move out… but because of my damn fairy godmother… that leaves me no choice! Tch. Screw her…. I really hated her guts of insisting people to become her slavery of wealth… and beauty…let's skip that part.

Now I can't wait to watch how the government would take down my old damn house in front of me… most likely I didn't believe that would ever happen. How would someone take somebody else's possession without that somebody's permission… right… they'll surely get that permission after I kick their ass….

I laughed myself as I quickly carry my 10: 24 ritual in the living/dining room…. 10 extra large bags of chips and 24 hours on tv…. Which runs my entire life… and don't worry with fats…like my fairy godmother usually reminds me about cutting off carbs diet… I have a fast damn metabolism plus I usually get some good exercises of Kicking butts…and dunching them after (which is punch then dump..) I made my OWN words and rules… but whatever happens, I'm still going to be the BOSS wherever I am.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi guys, this is the 2****nd**** chapter of Tayuya's 'soon-to-be-crazy-life' especially when she's having some weird coincidences around here… and yeah, her life has always been crazy when she was young, so now let's just call it **_**crazier**_**… Hope you enjoy! I don't own Naruto…only Masashi.**

**P.S. Her Vocabulary… and this story runs in Tayuya's POV**

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_Ring! Ring!_ There goes my alarm clock. I knocked it with my fist as I sat up from my bed. Yeah, another day for my ritual again… As I glanced at my half-repaired windowsill, there was a large truck for demolishing houses parked right in front of my yard with a couple of cabs around it. I gasped in shock as I remembered what my aunt has told me about demolishing my house. I thought it was just a joke just to insist me but… it was…real.

"Wait! Wait!" as I quickly run downstairs heading outside. I didn't mind fixing my messy attire (usually)…although I'll be meeting the government outside. Probably he must've had been waiting outside…sitting on his pants, waiting to hand me the large paper with the huge amount of debt my parents had. Ugh, now it'll be my turn…

"What's wrong with you people?!:" I stormed towards them. A man spoke from his cab loudly, "Halt there lady! Begin packing your things up so we would finish this demolition now. You've only got 5 minutes to do so!" I cocked a brow, "What did you say?! You thought I would just simply hand my house to you and go now destroy it? Screw you, no one's demolishing my house, no one!"

The man whispered to his companion and answered back, "This is by the government's command, lady. Now back out!"

"Back out? What are you telling me, like some stupid shit that would just obey your orders? I said NO ONE'S DEMOLISHING MY HOUSE! Now you back out!"

"This one's a hard head…" he muttered. "If you don't start packing now lady, we don't have any choice but to also destroy your things…"

_Sh*t._ I quickly head to a cab and begin kicking its gear hard. "Screw you, screw you, b*tc es! No one's demolishing it! No one!" The man from the cab shouted, "Stop doing that, you're destroying my gears. You know how much it cost to repair! Now go start packing!" With those words, I kicked the headlights hard that it broke into pieces. "Now who's the boss?" I crossed my arms; staring at him furiously.

"5 minutes over!" the man gave a hand signal to the demolition truck driver and he started positioning the large heavy metal ball on top of the roof. I turned around and yelled, "Stop! Wait!" "Sorry gal, we have given you enough time to pack but you just spent it breaking the headlights off." I boiled in rage. "You sh*thead!" I quickly stormed towards him; preparing to launch my fist right on his face.

But before I was able to punch him, a bouncer held my arms while the other holds me in place. I yelled as I struggled from their tight grip, "Let me go! Let me give that d*ckhead a piece of shiiii….." My aunt clears her throat, "I'm so sorry officer but my niece is having a tantrum. She just forgot to eat her favorite cookie. Just finish off your business officer. I'll just take care of her."

I glared at her. "Thanks Ms. Temuri, we'll finish it now." He then gave me a 'you-see-little-girl' look that I rolled my eyes in anger. _Lucky fool…_

The bouncers immediately dumped me inside the Mercedes Benz and the doors automatically locked themselves as my aunt sat at the front seat while i'm at the back. As the car moved, my aunt gave me a sorry look at the mirror while she's busy retouching her lips, although there really are no blemishes… duh!

"Where are you taking me?" I quip; still staring at the glassy window.

"Haven't I told you already, Tayuya…I think you're not listening." She replied.

"Like I damn care…" I rolled my eyes. She managed to chuckle a bit.

"Oh, Tayuya… you still haven't learned. Now, look what you have done, you haven't even got a thing before the demolition starts! Now, I still have to shop for your clothes today…"

"What! NO! not those stupid long dresses again! Plus you don't need to shop cause I can handle with this!" I pointed at my clothes.

"You call those clothes? That's not fit for a lady. Now you're convincing me."

"Aaarh! Sh*t! Screw you! Whether you like it or not, I'm wearing these again and again!" I glared.

"And whether you like it or not, you're wearing the clothes I choose all the time!" She glared back.

I furrowed my brows and slouched back my seat. I crossed my arms and grumbled curses.

"Learned your lesson?" She chuckled. "Kakashi, drop me by that mall and take her immediately to the mansion so she could begin her clean up." She gave me a cheeky grin.

"Whatever." I mumbled.

"Goodbye, Tayuya! I hope you enjoy a little of my welcome surprise!" She then left the car. And gave Kakashi, her personal driver a wink. I wonder what that means…

"What was that?" I narrowed my eyes.

He stared me by the mirror and replied, "What?"

"That winking thing? What does that mean?"

"Did Ms. Temuri winked? Oh sorry, I didn't see it." He made an alibi.

_Yeah right. And now he's playing dumb with me…_

"What was that surprise she just said?" I asked.

"Sorry, Ms. Tayuya but I can't tell you cause it's a surprise." He smiled.

I gave him an apathetic gaze by the mirror. "Yeah, and it'll be some stupid make up makeover thingy again…"

"Don't worry, you'll surely enjoy it." He grinned.

I rolled my eyes. "Um, did she often have that girly girl thingy everyday?"

"You mean, Ms. Temuri? She just has some makeover every other two days. But when there are some important events, she'll surely have it every other day."

Now I'm feeling bored with that subject. That's how she must've managed to stay with that face everyday…

"Um, I was just curious sir Kakashi… but..what if she kissed someone on his cheek, would it take days to remove the lipmark completely?"

He stiffened.

"Ah, I was just crazy about how much she keeps on retouching her lips…like every minute..that's why it sure looks like a deep cut instead of lips…"

He clears his throat.

"And you know, instead of _re-touching_ her lipstick, she's _re-moving_ it…like she doesn't have her lips! How hilarious that would be!" I snorted in laughter.

He turns red as he keeps on making small coughs like he's holding his laughter.

"I hope her guests won't notice that…you're lucky that I have warned you about her inerasable kiss. And I hope her victims survive if their partners notice it…damn how hard that would be!"

He remained quiet. Now I'm talking to myself. At least no one's arguing me.

"Welcome to Ms. Temuri's fine mansion." He announced.

I stared by the windowsill and the car door opened.

"Welcome, Ms. Tayuya." Two maids bowed down by the large door of the mansion. They look like twins.

A man in black tuxedo tries to escort me into the mansion but I refused. "I don't need some damn chaperone like my aunt used to. Just get out of my way." I paced towards the mansion as the door quickly opens. Everything still looks the same back from my last visit. _Which I thought to be the last one_. Except for the flowers which fairy godmother would always replace as often as possible. The place is spacious and large but everyday, all the maids have managed to clean every inch of the entire mansion…which I thought would take days.

"Ms. Tayuya, please come with us so we could take you to Ms. Temuri's surprise for you." The same maid mutters. "We'll lead you to your room." The other added.

I nodded half-heartedly; preparing for the crazy makeover I'll be having. _Pathetic…_ As we arrive at the front door of my 'future sulk hole'…

"Woah!..." This is the surprise?! My room sure is pretty large like my house. And yeah, it is very spacious and neat. I quickly jumped on my king-sized bed and bounced in the air. And what captures my eyes is my very own 2-inch flat screen LED tv! I turned on the channels and they just have all the channels I usually watched. And at the right, stood my personal refrigerator. I hope they've got all what I want but…

"Veggies?...Wheat!...Water!... and a diet combo meal?... with veggie ice cream! I thought everything's clear when I mentioned curls, meat and sodas and sweets?" I close the refrigerator.

"But Ms. Tayuya, It was Ms. Temuri who picked those." They explained.

I quickly head towards the cabinets and…

"Dresses?...sandals?...over-high heeled sandals?...bathing suits?...skirts…gowns?... you know what you call these?" I pointed out.

They stared at me quietly for a minute and muttered, "Ladies wear, mam."

"No! This is NIGHTMARE! And now tell me, those cabinets at the right with that huge mirror. Those are those stupid girly thingies again!"

"Um, the complete makeover set, mam." They corrected.

"Argh! I thought she would take GOOD care of me, but now she's giving me torture!" I yelled.

"Ms. Tayuya you need to start your clean up after this before taking your breakfast. It was ordered by Ms. Temuri." One of them muttered.

"Like I care!...Just leave me alone for awhile…I need to clean this trashy place by myself…" I sighed.

"But Ms. Tayuya, we just recently cleaned this place before you arrived."

"Nah, I just spotted some things that don't belong here…just go now before you'll waste my damn time." I muttered sarcastically.

"As you wish, Ms. Tayuya." They both curtsied.

That really annoys me, especially the way they addressed me. "Um, could you stop with your bow bow thingy…cause it really annoys me especially when you call me a Ms. Tayuya, although you can just simply call me Tayuya…cause I'm not a damn princess around here!" I grumbled.

They stared at each other and stared back at me. "But Ms. Tayuya…"

"What did I say?" I raised a brow.

"We must address our master with full respect. We cannot pay on calling your first name alone." They explained. "And Ms. Temuri would surely fire us if we won't show utmost respect."

I rub my temples and sigh, "If that's the damn case… just call me boss or master… it'll be fine."

"B-but…ah.." they stammered.

"Just call me THAT, if she's not around, fine?" I made a deal.

They nodded and smiled, "As you wish, Master Tayuya." _Now that's more like it…_

Now back in my damn room…

Sh*t. There's a lot of girly stuffs stuck in my damn room and I must quickly dump them before fairy godmother arrives… heh. Now the only problem is to where should I dump them….

There's no other empty cabinets left in this place… cause they're all full of 'too-much-feminine-things' around here. I slowly tiptoed out of my room and try to explore a little bit in this large freaking place to find more place… I mean garage for the trashes stuck in my damn area.

As I was climbing the next floor as I carried the damn trashes, I spotted a room to the left. With no one's looking, I quickly went inside. Woah, the room sure is pretty large, larger than mine…but I think someone's living in here cause there are some crazy mess of things in here…like of man's…maybe… but hell like I care! I quickly opened a cabinet and there I found it completely empty. I quickly dump the trashes in the cabinet and locked it nice and clean.

"Serves it right…" I rub my hands. But as I was about to go out, a familiar face came by the door which DID startle me.

"Sh*t!" I was dumbstruck at the taller figure in front of me.

"Damn, you again! What a coincidence!" he pointed out; furrowing his brows.

"What the f*ck are you doing in here?!" I glared. _I knew him somewhere…_

"And what the f*ck are you doing in _my room_?" he blared.

I crossed my arms as I gave him a death stare. _Now I'm going to enjoy some company._

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**I just thought of making the Lady Mizukage, the auntie herself cause I think it really suit her profile and her femininity. And Kakashi, her personal driver… it just came into my mind. I just have this crazy idea for the two… maybe there'll be something…hehehhe… now I'm just saying too much…I'll soon be posting the next chapter guys, thanks for reading! :D**


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